206 reasons to sign up for the mailing list:
The emails are VERY skim-able. Big words. Pretty pictures. No think much if you no want to.
I send out free and/or cool stuff.
Nice design vibes
It’s good for the environment (no paper)
It’s good for your soul
If you get tired of the shenanigans, you can unsubscribe at any time.
I will never ever ever sell your information. That’s not cool at all. I just wanna be friends.
My copywriting style is reminiscent of a 9 year old with access to a typewriter.
You’ll get emails just often enough to remember that I exist, but infrequent enough that you almost forget in between each one; thus creating a cycle of tension and fun surprises.
The townspeople will rejoice.
There’s already a bunch of people on the list and they keep asking about you.
Pierre told me it’s right up your alley.
You can learn things about student ministry.
You might not be in student ministry (or ministry at all) but you like keeping up with the latest deets on Bright Coal.
You hate instagram, but like seeing latest posts (I curate a list of my favorite latest ones).
There’s all kinds of fun secrets baked in (like the “Currently Digging” section at the bottom of each email).
I send you links to very cool/interesting things that I wish someone would’ve shared with me sooner.
It’s probably the most interesting email you receive on any given Tuesday morning.
Way cooler than the guilt-ridden volunteer sign up sheet that Karen always sends you.
I’m currently working on a braille version.
This is the best place for you to learn about Whale Wars III before it launches.
I’m thinking about including a weather update section… “What was the weather like yesterday” … and you don’t want to miss that.
You’ll be the first to learn about new merch!
Whether it’s accurate or not, I consider you “one of the real ones”… bc let’s be honest. Who signs up for a mailing list that isn’t REALLY committed to a brand?
Santa will put you on a list.
The value of a life is not measured in material possessions, but the value of a mailing list is measured in active subscribers.
This list is a sample (albeit a ridiculous one) of the sorts of things you can expect in the mailing list.
I just (as of 10 PM EST September 22nd, 2019 A.D.) rebranded the mailing list and think the new logo is dope.
You can’t get this sweet action anywhere else. (I mean that very literally. This is the only Bright Coal mailing list… now known officially as Smoke Signals).
I can absolutely guarantee, this won’t be the worst decision of your life, and it MAY be the best decision of your life (but honestly I hope it’s not. I mean, yes it’s a wonderful mailing list… but “BEST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE” is pretty intense. I really just do want better things for you than this. I guess what I’m trying to say is “Sign up for the mailing list.”)
Terrible Terry had an opportunity to sign up and didn’t. Don’t be like him.
This list is (probably) the most gimmicky part of the whole deal, so it only gets better from here.
I will not email you live updates of the Braves winning the 2019 World Series (even though I really hope that happens and would absolutely love to share that moment with you).
You are important to me. (Not SUPER important, but you do matter.)
A man once said “The best part of waking up is Foldgers in your cup”, but I heartily disagree. The best part of waking up is the tingling anticipation that today might be the day that you receive a Smoke Signal email from Bright Coal. Sometimes anticipation is greater than realization. Regardless of whether you subscribe to that line of thought or not, you should subscribe to this mailing list.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Aren’t you curious what the “equal and opposite” of that would be???
This is the first and last time I will lie to you. I’m definitely not going to write 206 reasons to join. If you haven’t already joined by now, another 168 reasons won’t convince you. You get what you paid for.